White House Pop Culture Summit


May 16, 2018 - Universe

DT: Welcome. I’m so glad you were all able to make it. You are some of the biggest influencers in popular culture. And together we can help MAGA go mainstream.

KW: Excuse me, did you just say “mainstream”?

DT: Yes.

KW: You realize when you say that. YOU ARE LIMITING MY FREE THOUGHT.

DT: Umm…sorry?


DT: Right…let’s hear from someone else. I think we have Roseanne here. Roseanne?

RB: Hi Donald!

DT: Your show is just fantastic. I mean, the lead character is a little fat for my taste, but…

RB: …You know I play Roseanne right? I’m Roseanne.

DT: ….

KW: Slavery was a choice. But not like, choosing ice cream flavors. More like choosing ice cream toppings. Sprinkles = slavery. Yeezus lives.

DT: Dennis Rodman? Any thoughts on this?

DR: I have severe schizophrenia, and despite having a few moments of lucidity like in this current time, I will soon revert back to my nonsensical ravings.

DT: Steve Bannon? Bannon in the house? You’re a movie guy, right? Could you add something to this conversation?

SB: I’m with Kanye on this one.

KW: You can’t agree with me! You don’t even know what fucking level I’m on right now!! (Level 4 – coked up meglomaniac if you’re wondering). FREE THOUGHT!

DT: I think we’re getting side-tracked. Any other celebrities who support my administration?

SB: No.

DT: Then perhaps we should call it a day. I need to leave anyway for my 3:00 Fuck Up Housing For Poor People meeting. Thanks everyone. Let’s do this again next week.

DR: The moon fairies will draw upon eternal noteriety for their comeuppance.

DT: Good point. Take notes from Dennis, everyone. He’s got this figured out.

› tags: celebrities / insanity / kanye / maga / trump /