White House Pop Culture Summit
May 16, 2018 - Universe
DT: Welcome. I’m so glad you were all able to make it. You are some of the biggest influencers in popular culture. And together we can help MAGA go mainstream.
KW: Excuse me, did you just say “mainstream”?
DT: Yes.
KW: You realize when you say that. YOU ARE LIMITING MY FREE THOUGHT.
DT: Umm…sorry?
KW: APOLOGIES ONLY FURTHER THE LIMITING OF FREE THOUGHT.
DT: Right…let’s hear from someone else. I think we have Roseanne here. Roseanne?
RB: Hi Donald!
DT: Your show is just fantastic. I mean, the lead character is a little fat for my taste, but…
RB: …You know I play Roseanne right? I’m Roseanne.
DT: ….
KW: Slavery was a choice. But not like, choosing ice cream flavors. More like choosing ice cream toppings. Sprinkles = slavery. Yeezus lives.
DT: Dennis Rodman? Any thoughts on this?
DR: I have severe schizophrenia, and despite having a few moments of lucidity like in this current time, I will soon revert back to my nonsensical ravings.
DT: Steve Bannon? Bannon in the house? You’re a movie guy, right? Could you add something to this conversation?
SB: I’m with Kanye on this one.
KW: You can’t agree with me! You don’t even know what fucking level I’m on right now!! (Level 4 – coked up meglomaniac if you’re wondering). FREE THOUGHT!
DT: I think we’re getting side-tracked. Any other celebrities who support my administration?
SB: No.
DT: Then perhaps we should call it a day. I need to leave anyway for my 3:00 Fuck Up Housing For Poor People meeting. Thanks everyone. Let’s do this again next week.
DR: The moon fairies will draw upon eternal noteriety for their comeuppance.
DT: Good point. Take notes from Dennis, everyone. He’s got this figured out.