Weather: Sky to Take a Big Ol’ Shit on Lansing, Michigan

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August 6, 2014 - Universe

Scientists from the National Weather Center in Washington have released a detailed and graphic projection for Wednesday’s weather in Lansing, Michigan.

“Beginning at about 7:30 am, we expect the sky to begin to open up and drop some little dumps in the Greater Lansing area,” said Jamel Brown, meteorologist.

“By 2:30 pm, residents can expect a full on downpour of gray, wet, soggy shit flooding from the heavens. Just a torrential storm of sopping smelly weather-feces flying everywhere.”

Brown says that the shit will last into the early evening, then gradually reduce to a “light pissing.”