Vegan: You Are Incredibly Ignorant About Root Vegetables

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April 24, 2016 - Local

According to local vegan and activist Desiree Shay, you don’t shit about root vegetables.

Shay says that of the more than 300+ varieties of root vegetables, you have probably only heard of carrots and radishes.

“Maybe you know rutabaga too, but I’m sure you’ve never eaten it,” she said.

“Talk to me when you know the difference between Taproots and Tuberous roots. Talk to me when you have dreams of making love to roots in your sleep,” she said while munching on a dandelion root.

According to those who know her, Shay is not usually shy about expressing her opinions on root vegetables. Neighbor Jamal Rose says it can become infuriating at times.

“Man, that girl is just rude. She came up to me the other day and started lecturing me about roots. I was like ‘I eat parsnips every day bitch. You don’t know me,’” Rose said.

“And the truth is she doesn’t. I’m a very complicated man,” he added.

But Shay says she is simply trying to educate the public on the nutritional value of root vegetables.

“Not everyone knows you can make a disgusting tea using celeriac. And until they do, I will continue harassing people,” she said.