Utah Family Up To Some Wholesome Suburban 1950s Shit

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October 6, 2015 - Universe

According to sources, the Langforth family in Provo, Utah is up to some corny feel-good 1950s-style activities.

The family is reported to be engaged in a pursuit like jacks, river rafting, or something called ‘Bible Bowling’.

Joseph Parsons, a neighbor, says the family promotes good Christian values despite the wife’s “suspiciously tanned skin-style”.

“That’s a good family there. You won’t see them playing with the Devil’s toys like Legos or cell phones,” he said.

“One time little Joseph Langforth got stuck in the town well, and we had to call Joseph Martins to fish him out. Now that’s family fun we can all enjoy.” he added.

The Langforth parents, Joseph and Bette, credit their parenting skills to lessons learned from the Mormon Church.

“You don’t want to upset the Elders,” Joseph told reporters.

“The Elders are all knowing. And they have decided that things like horseshoes and sexually-repressed Twister are activities the good people of Utah should enjoy,” he said.

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