Top 10 Excuses To Get Out Of Work Forever

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November 25, 2014 - Universe

We all have those days where it feels impossible to get out of bed and survive another tough day at the office. For when you desperately need it, our staff compiled our top ten lies to get out of work for the rest of your life.

10. “Oh my God I just murdered my brother!”

9. “I don’t feel like working today”

8. “Fuck you! Fuck you and everyone else who works for this shit company!”

7. “I have to work at my other job today”

6. “How can I work when there are so many starving children to sexually assault in the world?”

5. “I’ve been having trouble concentrating since I had my brain stem removabla hdmdid j pony woodshed”

4. “I’ll work just as long as we fire those Mexicans working in finance”

3. “I have to attend a meeting with corporate about those funds I stole from the company”

2. “Please don’t make me! Please! No! I don’t want to go! You’re so mean! Why are you doing this to me?!” *loud sobbing*

1. “I quit”

 

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