Tech Review: Oh Yeah, Fuck Me IPhone X

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May 21, 2016 - Universe

By Bert Strong, Tech Reporter

Oh. Oh yeah. Oh my god yes. This new iPhone. It’s making me feel so good. It’s rocking my freakin’ world!

Mmm. Yeah. Just like that. So sleek. Oh yeah keep it going just like that. Mmmmm…mmmmm… yes!!!

This feels so amazing! God! God yes! That camera! Aw yeah! I like the way that camera makes me feel!

The megapixels! Yeah give me them all at once! There’s never been a phone like this. There’s been other phones, believe you me, but not like this!!

I got a message for you Tim Cook:

Why you so bad? Who made you make me feel so naughty? You want me to bad boy for you? You want to spank me? Is this why you work so hard at computers? For pleasure of spanking me? Tee hee hee. I don’t mind.

Whoopty-doo! Yippe-cay-yay! Krakatoa!

We’re doing this. We’re really doing it. Mhm. That’s right. She’s coming round the mountain. She’s coming around the mountain. She’s COMING AROUND THAT MOTHA FUCKIN MOUNTAIN-

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Summary:

Pros: Good specs, faster OS

Cons: touchscreen still has some glitches. new location of home button inconvenient

Rating: 6/10