Area Raccoon On Self-Destructive Path

July 24, 2016

According to creatures in the Pasadena area, local raccoon Jimmy is on a self-destructive path that could very well end in his own demise. “Ever since last Thursday he’s been really on one. He’s been running around in circles and climbing buildings haphazardly…he is just asking for trouble acting this way,” said local chipmunk Roberta. “Yesterday…

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Editorial: I Am Not Your Monkey

February 2, 2016

by Pepe The Monkey To Whom It May Concern, I am not your monkey. Despite what you may have been told, I am not here to jump at your request. To do whatever you want as soon as you want it. To dance for money. I do not exist simply to do your bidding with…

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Local Lamb Just Not Feeling It Today

January 26, 2016

Sources close to Altadena farmer Rex Daniels say one of his lambs, named Rodney, just isn’t feeling it today. “Rodney seems pretty out of it. I don’t know if he woke up on the wrong side of bed or what. But it looks like he’s just not having it today,” said Daniels. “The doctor said he’s fine physically,…

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