STUDY: Meat Sweats Still Funny Despite Concerning Health Effects
September 10, 2015 - Universe
A new study conducted at the University of Little Rock Plus-Size Campus (aka Main Campus) has confirmed that meat sweats are still funny despite the obvious health complications they can signify.
“There’s no doubt meat sweats are a sign that you are consuming far above the caloric intake your body can handle, and common occurrences may lead to various cancers and digestive issues,” said Dr. James Jones, the study’s leader.
“But this study showed conclusively that when you see someone scarfing down a hamburger and actually perspiring in the process it is still pretty damn hilarious,” he added.
Participants of the study said the testing was difficult as it tested their morals and appetites. One subject (who wished to remain anonymous after this reporter asked her out on several dates) told The Pasadenoid it was challenging to control her feelings.
“You don’t want to laugh when you see a 400-pound person wiping sweat off their brow before diving into a new layer of ribs,” she sung in an angel’s voice.
“Wait, are you honestly hitting on me during this interview?” she asked sweetly.
While the results of the study were statistically significant, Dr. Jones cautions that further research should be done to replicate the results.
“They’re gonna want to try this. It’s a real hoot,” he said.