Study Finds Breakfast Most “Fucktastic” Meal Of The Day

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July 28, 2014 - Universe

A recent study at the University of West Ocean found that breakfast is the most “fucktastic” meal of the day for modern humans.

“Our study confirms what we suspected from the beginning. While lunch and dinner provide ample nutritional pleasure, neither meal can match the mouth-watering orgasmic delight of a well-rounded breakfast,” said Dr. Angelo Bradd.

Scientists say participants in the study were hooked up to a brain scanner as they were presented with different meals. They say the part of the brain that processes highly fucktastic material was overactive only during breakfast presentations.

“While all meal presentations activated pleasure zones in the brain, only breakfast was found to correspond to sexual pleasure,” said Dr. Bradd.

“In fact, many participants admitted to having actual orgasms when exposed to bacon, eggs, and pancakes,” he added.

Bradd says future studies may focus on which breakfast items are the most “fucktastic.” He says his lab will focus on “waffles with creamy butter and sticky, wet, syrup….aaggghghghg”.