Resident Spotlight: Lisa Carter, Publicist

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July 20, 2016 - Local

For this today’s installment in our weekly series, we talk to publicist Lisa Carter, who represents high-profile writers including Thomas Pynchon and Jonathan Franzen.

The Pasadenoid:

Hi Lisa. Thanks for speaking to us today.

Lisa:

It’s my pleasure.

The Pasadenoid:

So you work with a ton of celebrity clients. What’s that like?

Lisa:

Well, people have all these ideas about eccentric artists causing headaches for professionals like me, but I don’t work with anyone I don’t trust. I don’t like to get involved with clients who have self-destructive personal lives.

The Pasadenoid:

Fascinating. Now let’s talk about the manuscript.

Lisa:

Pardon?

The Pasadenoid:

“Winter’s Edge”. It’s a play I wrote and have sent to you many times.

Lisa:

Oh, my. That’s you?

ThePasadenoid:

Yes.

Lisa:

Oh dear.

The Pasadenoid:

We both know it’s a work of genius.

Lisa:

Listen, you really need to stop sending materials to my office.

The Pasadenoid:

I thought you accept submissions from the public?

Lisa:

No, I don’t. And I can’t think of how many trees you have killed to send me copies of the same play.

The Pasadenoid:

Oh let’s not make it about the trees!

Lisa:

Why not? They’re all dying!

The Pasadenoid:

Well why do you keep ignoring it?

Lisa:

Because it sucked. Ok? The main character is named “Bobby Biggles”. Who the hell is going to read that?

The Pasadenoid:

You just don’t-

Lisa:

Don’t what? Understand that the events are supposed to be an allusion to the French Revolution? You couldn’t have made it more clear with your ridiculously obtuse references.

The Pasadenoid:

You…thought it was obtuse?

Lisa:

Yes. Obtuse and stupid.

The Pasadenoid:

And the end?

Lisa:

They fall in love and move back to Karachi? Is this to be directed by Angelina Jolie?

The Pasadenoid:

Ouch.

Lisa:

Any other questions?

The Pasadenoid:

No. I’m sad.

Lisa:

Look kid…

The Pasadenoid:

Yeah?

Lisa:

Don’t contact me ever again.

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