Resident Spotlight: Bill Samuels, Accountant

adult-1851571_960_720

February 4, 2017 - Local

The Pasadenoid:

So, you’re an accountant, huh?

Bill Samuels

Yep.

The Pasadenoid

Ok…yikes this is so boring already.

Bill Samuels 

Why did you even invite me to do this in the first place?

The Pasadenoid

I don’t know. We were probably high. Is there anything about your life that is remotely interesting at all?

Bill Samuels

One time I went to Canada.

The Pasadenoid

Oh Jesus.

Bill Samuels

Well, technically I didn’t cross the border. I was in upstate New York and I could see Canada. But I guess that’s not really the same, huh?

The Pasadenoid

Nope. It’s really not.

Bill Samuels

Ok. How about this? When I was a young boy my aunt performed in a production of ‘My Fair Lady’ on Broadway, and I got to meet some of the cast.

The Pasadenoid

You’re joking right? This is the best you can do?

Bill Samuels

One time I almost got hair plugs, but then I decided against it.

The Pasadenoid

This can’t be real.

Bill Samuels

I like to eat fish. Raw.

The Pasadenoid

…that’s kind of weird I guess?

Bill Samuels

In my sushi.

The Pasadenoid

Alright. I think we’re done here.

Bill Samuels

One more thing.

The Pasadenoid 

Ugh, fine. Go ahead.

Bill Samuels

Nevermind I forgot it.

The Pasadenoid

Great. Thank you so much for this. It was enlightening.

Bill Samuels

I detect sarcasm. But I don’t wish to quarrel with you. I don’t like confrontation and I’m late for my appointment with my watchsmith. Plus later I’m having dinner with Malala and James Caan tonight.

The Pasadenoid

Ok. Goodbye. Wait, what was that last part?

Bill Samuels

Later, assholes. Let’s go Arianna.

The Pasadenoid

Wait, is that Arianna Grande? What the hell?!

Bill Samuels

Sorry I’m just a boring old accountant!

The Pasadenoid

Oh my God he just threw a smoke bomb on the ground and they disappeared. Shit. My editor is going to be so pissed.

› tags: accountant / boring / resident spotlight /