Report: Writer’s Minimum Wage To Triple To $0 Per Hour

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May 26, 2015 - Culture / Universe

According to several reports, the U.S. Congress voted to raise the minimum wage for writers across the nation by a whopping 300% on Tuesday.

The ruling means that anyone who works as a writer for a commercial magazine, newspaper, blog, or similar platform must be paid at least $0 per hour for their work.

“We found in the past that many writers are unable to afford a decent standard of living when they are not getting paid anything at all,” said Representative Jeffrey Holcomb, Delaware, who helped write the new law.

“So we decided to be ambitious. I remember we were discussing this wage and one senator said ‘Why not be bold and double it?’ And I said, ‘Fuck you Rich, we’ll triple it!’” he said.

Those who opposed the bill claimed it would hurt businesses who rely on free content to operate at a profit. In a statement, senior management at The Huffington Post responded to the ruling:

“We are disappointed in today’s decision. We have found many writers are so grateful for recognition they won’t even take our money if we try to pay them. Unfortunately, this loss may require us to slash the salaries of other non-paid contributors in the layout and graphics departments.”

The law demands that all organizations institute the wage change by next January. In the meantime, many writers across the country will have to continue to find a way to support themselves without earning income.