Report: More Americans Yelling At Inanimate Objects

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February 3, 2017 - Universe

A report released eariler this week suggests that more Americans are taking out their frustrations on lifeless objects than ever before.

“Fuck you, chair!” said Leslie Jones of Altadena after stubbing her toe on the object.

Researchers point to increased stress, anxiety, and annoying technologies that talk to you as possible causes of the phenomenon.

“In the past, your maps weren’t named Alexa. In fact, they didn’t have names at all,” said Dr. Bread, lead investigator of the study.

“And yes, my last name is really Bread. Go ahead, laugh. Like everyone else does. I’ll bet you’ll also find it amusing my first name is Ryan and I go by “Ry” for short,” he added.

› tags: mental health / studies / yelling /