Report: John McCain To Take Short Break From Stroking Chin And Muttering “This Is Troubling”

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July 3, 2017 - Universe

According to sources on John McCain’s staff, the Senator will take a short break this afternoon from stroking his chin and muttering “this is troubling.”

“This is troubling,” he said when approached by The Pasadenoid for a comment.

Several McCain staffers told our newspaper they are becoming concerned that the Senator is losing touch with reality.

“He used to do other things. Things like eating food and making eye contact with people,” said one anonymous staffer.

“Now we have to stuff pork chops down his throat. We’re getting concerned he won’t be able to breathe on his own soon,” the source added.