Real Radio Ad

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June 3, 2016 - Universe

[male]

Hey Sue!

[female]

Hi there Jim!

[male]

What’s new?

[female]

I have exciting news! I recently decided to sell my soul in order to become a corporate shill for a company that sells vacuum cleaners!

[male]

What?

[female]

Yeah! I decided I don’t care about my life anymore and I will let a team of advertisement writers dictate what I say and do.

[male]

What the hell, Sue?

[female]

I know! I’m so excited. Before I used to care about things like reality, but now I’m just a heartless robot who will do anything and everything to make sure you buy this vacuum cleaner!

[male]

This is very disturbing. What does your family say about this?

[female]

It doesn’t matter what they think! The only thing I or anyone else should care about is how to buy the Shopvac 312 stainless steel vacuum cleaner.

[male]

What happened to the old Sue? Who loved art and music?

[female]

She’s dead! Dead dead dead. And I couldn’t be happier. We must obey the Shopvac Corporation or we will be frowned upon! We wouldn’t want that.

[male]

I think you need to see a psychiatrist.

[female]

Who needs mental health when your home is so CLEAN! I love how the Shopvac 312 has an extending arm that lets me get to the hard-to-reach places.

[male]

You’re really scaring me Sue.

[female]

Maybe you’ve just realized your house isn’t as clean as it could be! Haha!

[male]

I can’t believe this.

[female]

BUY THE VACUUM OR THEY WILL GET TO YOU TOO.

[male]

What? Who is they? Please stop this, I don’t need a…ugh…what the? Ow! Stop it! Ow! Ow ow!!! No! My soul! What are you doing?! You’re devouring it!!! Oh God, no!!!!

[female]

Now do you see the value of the Shopvac 312?

[male]

Well I have to say I feel like a fool for using the standard industry-leading vacuum. I had no idea I was missing out on some of these amazing features.

[female]

There’s still time to buy! Head on over to Shopvac’s website and place an order today!

[male]

That’s great news! This is one gift my wife will actually enjoy!

[female]

Hahaha!

[male]

Hahaha!

[female]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[male]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH HAHAHAHA!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

 

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