Police Say Man Who Eats A Lot Of Hot Dogs No Longer Suspect In Missing Hot Dogs Case


December 8, 2017 - Local

Pasadena Police Chief Lou Williams announced today that local hot dog connoisseur Robert Samuels is no longer a suspect in the hot dog bandit case.

“We were able to determine that Samuels had a rock-solid alibi. He was at home eating hot dogs and watching reruns of Roseanne. And we have the video to prove it,” Williams told reporters in a press conference this afternoon.

Samuels told¬†The Pasadenoid that while he’s glad he is out of police custody, he feels he was targeted by law enforcement due to his predilection for hot dogs.

“My felonious detention was unscrupulous chicanery and an affront to my honor,” he said while waving a hot dog in the air between bites.

“These policemen are absolute brutes. Brutes, I tell you!” he added as mustard spilled on his shirt.

Samuels’ lawyer, Rashida Potter, says her client will likely be pursuing legal action against the department.

“My client is an innocent man who happens to have a bizzare affinity for hot dogs. This does not mean he should be targeted in every hot-dog related crime around town,” she said.

“Pasadena Police need to leave this freakish man to his food.”