Pasadena Unveils Bus Accommodations For Disabled People Who ‘Just Can’t’


July 11, 2015 - Uncategorized

Pasadena’s Public Transit Department revealed today that they are providing special seats on Area Rapid Transit buses for disabled people who ‘just can’t’ or ‘can’t even.’

“Previously we’ve had seats for people who can’t do something specific like stand up,” explained Transit Director Amy Wilhelm. “But these seats are different in that they’re for disabled people who ‘just can’t’ or ‘can’t even’ as a result of other people’s piss-poor interpersonal abilities.”

“I think it’s great,” said Jeff Diaz, a blind local resident. “Before I got on the bus, a woman was speaking extra loud and slow to me because I don’t have vision. I couldn’t even so I was glad I had a chance to sit down and reflect on her dumbfuckery.

Other disabled residents hailed the move as well as a sensitive and appropriate accommodation for Pasadena’s disabled.

“A man tried to give his seat to me because I have Down syndrome,” said Michelle Truit.  “I was like, fuckwad, I walked here. I was standing at the bus shelter when the bus rolled around. What about my extra chromosome makes you think I can’t stand on the bus now that I’m on it? But I couldn’t even with that moron so I actually did take his seat which, thankfully, was reserved for disabled people who couldn’t even anyway.”