Marriage

June 3, 2014

The McMorton family is proud to announce the marriage of Ronald McMorton and Cecilia Lopez. The Lopez family is not talking about the matter but hopes Cecilia “Gets her shit together and sends that white boy to the curb.”

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Study Finds That Defunct Carbon Monoxide Detectors Only Rarely Result In Death Of A Beautiful Family

June 2, 2014

An intensive three-year study from the University of Arizona found that defunct carbon monoxide detectors result in the death of a beautiful family only in extremely atypical circumstances. The study was conducted by scientists who snuck into three thousand homes and disabled carbon monoxide detectors across all demographics. “Based on media reports, we expected disabled…

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Cheese & Co. Comics

May 30, 2014

Public Service Announcement

May 30, 2014

To residents: Please stop placing individual shards of glass in the children’s playground.

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Strobing Billboards Are a Bit Much, Says Man in Ditch

May 29, 2014

I hope that this letter doesn’t inconvenience you.

Driving is a dangerous proposition these days. Last year, more than 30,000 people died in vehicle-related accidents.

Public Service Announcement

May 28, 2014

Carmichael Finch was last seen Tuesday night wearing a sweet pork pie hat. Does anyone know where he got that pork pie hat? Also, he’s missing.

Crime

May 27, 2014

Local police are investigating an incident involving a puppy wearing a top hat who was mauled by a bespectacled kitten in a bouncy castle. Police are calling it the cutest tragedy they’ve ever seen.

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Editorial: Let’s Make This Town So Weird We All Agree We Took It Too Far

May 27, 2014

by Jake Sanford, Pasadena You know, I can’t help notice that other cities like Portland and Austin are some of the fastest growing cities in the nation. Why isn’t Pasadena on such a list? We’ve got a good thing going here, so what are we missing? After further investigation, I’ve discovered that these cities are…

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Crime

May 22, 2014

Police still on lookout for man-boy who robbed local convenience store of all its Pop-Tarts and Fruit Roll-Ups.

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Review: Meth-addled Fever Dream

May 21, 2014

By Bert Jones, culture critic 2 Stars I don’t have a lot of meth-addled fever dreams these days. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that I just don’t have the energy to go all the way to the movie theater, purchase a ticket, go to theater 7, and execute a quick drug deal with the…

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