by Elise June, Monrovia The internet is a scary place, and dating on the internet can be even scarier. I’ve spent years in and out of relationships with Russian bots, and it can take quite a toll on you if you’re not prepared for the challenges you may face. For this reason I have written…
Pasadena Police Chief Lou Williams announced today that local hot dog connoisseur Robert Samuels is no longer a suspect in the hot dog bandit case. “We were able to determine that Samuels had a rock-solid alibi. He was at home eating hot dogs and watching reruns of Roseanne. And we have the video to prove…
By Defense Attorney Sadie Mooston I’ve been a defense attorney in this town for twenty years. It’s a satisfying job to know that, each day, I get to protect the rights of and defend the accused. But it is frustrating working in a town with a schizophrenic judicial establishment and citizenry, which only respects the…
by Clyde Johnson, Monrovia That’s it, I give up already! Just this morning my wife asked me if we could visit her parents in La Jolla at the end of next month. “What day is that?” I asked. She started to say something unhelpful, I’m sure, but I had had it up to here with…
by Mike Lee, U.S. Senator from Utah My fellow Americans, I am horrified. Following the allegations against senate candidate Roy Moore, I decided it was time for me to do a little reading on sexual assault. I browsed the first few lines of the Wikipedia article on sexual assault and I did not like what…
by Bert Strong, Pasadena Come on now, people. This needs to come to an end. I am sick and tired of being bullied and criticized just because I smell like chicken salad. Yes, I eat chicken salad pretty often. So what? That means I don’t get to come to town hall meetings and express my opinion?…
by Rod Spencer, School Board President Dear Townspeople, Over the last 6 years, I have worked hard on the Pasadena Unified School District board in order to ensure all of the children in our town receive a quality education. This has proven to be a very difficult task, especially when considering funding to our schools…
by Lee Smith, Altadena Mom! Dad! I want to go to bed! Can someone tuck me in right now?! No! Not mommy! No! Not daddy! I want Stephen Spielberg to tuck me in! Sorry, but I just sleep better when America’s most perfect filmmaker puts me to bed. I love you both, but you just…
