Opinion: The Joint Strike Fighter Program Is One Of Several Ways To Spend One Trillion Dollars

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July 21, 2014 - Universe

By  Jimmy Scaganelli, Pasadena

I believe in our troops and the American military just as much as the next guy, but it seems to me that there are times that taxpayer money could be spent in more useful places.  Our joint strike fighter program is going to cost 1 trillion dollars. You have to wonder if there are better ways to use those funds.

For example, with 1 trillion dollars, the United States government could buy a mansion for every homeless person in the country. However, while that would be a nice thing to do, it just wouldn’t be practical. All of those homeless people would have great big houses but no food and no jobs to pay for utilities and the house wouldn’t even come furnished. They’d all just be really hungry and filthy in their empty mansions. It would also be eccentric and like my dad used to say, “If you want a mansion, you have to earn it.”

Nevertheless, that’s just one example and I think there must be better things we can do with a trillion dollars than buy a new fleet of strike fighters. With one trillion dollars, you could buy more than 100 million school lunches a day for ten years. But, then you figure, who needs all that food? After you eat two or three school lunches, you’re pretty much full and, trust me, school lunches aren’t that good.

One idea for how to spend a trillion dollars is to buy thousands of drones and have them swarm the country looking for terrorists and bankrobbers. There’d be enough money left over to hire every homeless person to watch the drone screens. And, then, if he sees a bad guy, the homeless person could press a button and the drone would kill him.

The best part of this idea is that, with their new jobs, the homeless people would finally have the money to pay the utilities fees for their mansions. But, shoot, we spent all the mansion money on drones! Their salaries could only afford a loft apartment! Sorry, that idea was terrible.

Anyway, before you buy something really expensive, it’s good to think of other things you could spend the money on – so I’m glad we did this exercise, even if it didn’t change our minds.

› tags: defense / f-35 / joint strike fighter / military /