Man’s Poster Collection Hasn’t Been Seen Since Woodstock ’99


August 21, 2014 - Local

Gesturing to a large box on his bedroom floor, local man Ted Connors reported yesterday that his poster collection hasn’t been seen since Woodstock ’99.

“Nobody’s checked it out in quite a while, but man, I had a couple people come take a look at my posters during Woodstock”, Connors remarked with a chuckle.

In a candid interview, Connors explained that since the three-day reincarnation of the landmark 1969 music festival, not a single other person has laid eyes on, let alone browsed, his extensive and well-kept collection of movie, music and artistic posters.

“Those were a crazy few days” Connors reminisced. “Oh boy. The crowds were insane, all the girls were topless and everyone was going nuts. I don’t even know what we were on, but it was some good stuff. I started dancing with a girl and before I knew it we were back in my tent browsing the posters I brought with me”

But that was the last time anybody’s seen Connors’ accumulation of over sixty unique prints that vary in shape, size and genre.

“Now, when I ask girls if they’d like to come see my poster collection, they just look at me weird and say no. It’s like, we’ve been on three dates already. I think it’s time for me to take you up to my room, pour a drink or two, and show you my limited edition Reservoir Dogs piece.”

Looking thoughtfully out the window, Connors reflected:

“I’m starting to think that going up to a woman at a bar and, five minutes into conversation, saying ‘So, do you want to come back to my apartment and check out my poster collection?’ isn’t really the best way to go about things.”

He snapped back to the present.

“Nah, I love showing people my posters”