Local Rent­-A-Cop Neglects to Correct People Who Call Him “Officer”

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August 14, 2016 - Local / Uncategorized

According to sources, local security guard David Jones does not bother to correct people who refer to him as an officer.

“Look, I’m not going to go out of my way to prove someone wrong,” he told The Pasadenoid.

If they think I hold some position of authority who am I to correct them?” he asked.

“You know, I pretty much am an officer. I do official things like point people in the right direction.” Jones added.

Jones then went on a 50-minute diatribe about how he deserves more respect from various people including himself.

“I am the officer of my own decisions, and I need to respect that authority.” he said while in tears.

“Wow, this has been great. I’ve learned so much about myself. Thank you, humor publication, for this opportunity.”

› tags: authority / parking /