Local Principal Evidently Has No Limit to Supply of Short Rhyming Phrases That Describe School Rules


September 18, 2014 - Local


Multiple sources are reporting that East River Elementary School Principal Stan Wilson has no shortage of pithy rhyming phrases that describe school rules.

“You throw, you go!” he reportedly said to third-grader Alice Stapleton after she threw a tomato in the lunch room (Alice was forced to miss recess that day).

Arnold Oakhurst, who teaches math, and in this reporter’s admittedly unprofessional opinion was a horribly boring interview subject, says the phrases help kids remember school rules.

“It helps the kids understand what will happen if they don’t stay in line. They will pay a fine. That’s only during mandatory line time of course though,” he said with a chuckle.

But recently terminated music teacher Bellany Williams Scott-Reed says the phrases do little to ease legitimate tension between Wilson and others.

“He hit me with the old, ‘Complain to the district about funds, soon you’ll be living in the slums’”, she said in an exclusive interview with The Pasadenoid.

“It was a very humiliating part of the firing process.”