Local Child Growing Concerned About Adults Telling Her To Cherish Her Childhood
July 31, 2016 - Local
According to sources, local 10-year-old Teresa Redman is growing increasingly worried about the number of adults telling her to appreciate her childhood.
“People keep telling me to cherish my youth, and it’s become a little unnerving,” she told The Pasadenoid, “What’s going to happen? It seems bad,” she added.
Local liquor store owner Rod Tyler says he only wanted Teresa to appreciate her limited time as an innocent child.
“I just told her to appreciate your experience as a kid in this world,” he said.
“And I added one day your blissful untarnished worldview will come crashing down in a series of revelations about responsibility, inequality, and the number of assholes on this planet, ” he added.
“And I just mentioned that one day you’re going to look out your office window and realize you wasted your youth working for some jerk executive. And your love life is going to fall apart when your girlfriend discovers she’s attracted to bicycles,” he added.
“And I also told her one day your parents will die and and you’ll realize you never told them how thankful you were for all they did for you. And then everyone else you love will die. And you’ll be truly alone in this cold, bitter world. All alone. Forever.” he added.