Klan Unveils Hip “This Is What a White Supremacist Looks Like” Campaign

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June 25, 2015 - Universe

Fighting a backlash against overt racism and terroristic conspiracy-oriented racial hatemongering, the Ku Klux Klan revealed a new tshirt campaign today with the slogan “This Is What A White Supremacist Looks Like.” Klan spokesman Duke Jones said that the campaign is an effort to show people the vast diversity of the white supremacy subculture.

“We created this shirt so that everyone – from the angsty, paranoid teen who thinks his girlfriend wants to leave him for black men to the hip young mom who thinks the Jews put autism in her baby’s vaccines – could claim loudly and proudly, ‘This is me! I believe that blacks are lazy and Jews control the world!’ said Jones.

Jones says that Klan members are tired of the stereotypes that surround their movement and want to be more proactive in demonstrating a new and modern image.

“People see American History X and assume all us klannies and supremacists are skinheads into moshing and heavy metal hate rock. Yeah, there’s an element of that. But there’s so much more to us.

“What about the lonely, elderly Confederate sympathizer who shows up to history book talks and asks the writer why he left out a section about slaves who didn’t want emancipation?”

“Or the lonely, elderly Nazi sympathizer who writes youtube comments about how there’s no way it was six million?”

“Really, just a lot of lonely, hateful weirdos, some bikers, and, yeah, the kids into hate rock.”

Still, Jones says that people will be shocked how white supremacists come in all shapes and sizes.

“White, white, straight, straight or protestant. If there’s hate in your heart and bigotry on your mind, this shirt is for you!”