Job Board: April

job board

April 9, 2016 - Local

Suspiciously Decent-Paying Job At Amazon Warehouse

We are now hiring packers and movers to work for $43/hr in a new Amazon warehouse facility. Why does it pay so well? You’ll find out soon enough…

Seeking BARELY LEGAL TEENS… For Sweatshop Work

We are looking for BARELY LEGAL TEENS to work in a Nike sweatshop in Oregon. Open positions include Rubber Smelter, Assistant To The Smelter, and Lead Smelting Coordinator Of Smelting Affairs (And Other Smelting-Related Inquiries)

Coconut

I lost my coconut. My sweet little coconut. Will you be my new coconut? Call me at 877-424-9361.

President Of Doll-Head Factory

It’s a factory that makes doll-heads. It pays well and has a great retirement package. The only downside is you have to look at those creepy faces all day…coming down the assembly line…thousands and thousands of doll heads staring up at you…into your soul…prior experience preferred but not required.

Actors For Ted Cruz Campaign Ad

Hello, we’re hiring people to pretend to like Ted Cruz for a couple hours for a video. Why does it pay so well? You’ll find out soon enough…

…ok it’s because he’ll need some of your blood.

 

 

 

 

 

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