James Worley Found Dead, Questions Follow

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May 13, 2015 - Local

Local law enforcement has confirmed that bathroom attendant James Worley was found deceased at his apartment in Alhambra this morning.

Worley, 57, stirred outrage in Pasadena on Monday after threatening to post a list of who does and does not wash their hands after using the bathroom. The threat sparked outrage across the community as city leaders turned to finger-pointing.

Police say while it is early into the investigation, they suspect he died of natural causes.

“From what we’ve gathered at the crime scene, our initial belief is that Mr. Worley accidentally drank a great deal of arsenic, went into his bathroom, slipped on the wet floor and landed on top of a knife 6 times before finally falling into the bathtub and drowning. He also cut up his dead body into tiny pieces,” said Detective Angel Johnson of the Pasadena Police Department.

“While the circumstances are unusual surrounding Mr. Worley’s death, the public should know that I was at the bowling alley last night from 7-12 and have nine people who can attest to that fact,” he added.

Mayor Robert Sanchez called Worley’s death “tragic”, but said it will at least release the community from its state of unrest.

“I am just glad the people of Pasadena no longer have to live in fear that their bathroom habits will be published,” he said in a community email.

“And all should be aware I was out playing mini-golf last night from 7-12 and videotaped the whole thing if anyone wants to watch it,” he said.

City attorney Sadie Mooston called Worley’s death suspicious and called for a more thorough investigation.

“Our city is stained with blood. Can we really assume this man died of natural causes, considering he was threatening to leak highly sensitive information?” she said in an editorial in a local newspaper.

“And if anyone is out there thinking, ‘Oh, I’ll bet Sadie did it, because she’s lying about washing her hands and no one would suspect her,’ should know they are stupid idiots and if they had any brains they would know I was gardening from 7-12 last night. Any of my cats can verify that.”

In the meantime, city detectives are putting together a lengthy report on Worley’s death and his previous threats. Police say the report will remain classified until 2074.