Infant Personified, Ridiculed by Friends and Family

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January 31, 2016 - Local

According to sources, local baby Lance Williams recently underwent a humiliating experience involving several families pretending to be him and mocking his speech and intelligence.

“‘Ooooh, where did all these people come from?’” said his mom Betsy-Ann while holding him and showing him to relatives in the foyer.

“‘Wow, I can’t wait to play with all of you guys! But first mommy has to change my diaper!’” she added.

The incident, while playful in tone, reportedly contained many forms of bullying and intimidation in order to satisfy the adults’ will.

“’I’m grumpy! I want a nap!’” yelled Aunt Margaret while moving his hands like a puppeteer.

Lance was put down for a nap within the hour.

While Lance could not comment on the matter, his father told us he was mature enough to handle the constant ridicule and berating.

“‘Who’s a big boy?’” he asked him.

Just another rhetorical question hurled at a baby that can’t respond.