Editorial: I Am A Heptapus. This Is My Story.
by Oliver Stantz, Heptapus
Hello. My name is Oliver and I am a heptapus. Yes, that’s right, I am an octopus with only seven tentacles.
You may not have heard of a heptapus before, but although we are rare there are many of us out there. Some of us were born with seven tentacles, others have lost one in their time in the ocean. In bays, oceans, and estuaries across the world you can find heptapuses living normal lives as mollusks of the sea.
Heptapuses are like octopuses in many ways. For one, we are the same species. We all enjoy a diet of small crabs, scallops, and sea snails. We spend most of our lives underwater. And we can produce ink to scare away foes.
That said, Hepatapuses are dissimilar to octopuses in many ways as well. We are strong and sensitive. We are unique, and face different challenges than our eight-tentacled brethren. Despite what you may hear, many of us are successful, with our so-called ‘deformity’ pushing us to achieve greater things than we would otherwise.
Heptapuses often face bullying from their peers. Nicknames may include ‘Mutant-pus’ and ‘Seven-legged freaks.’ Because heptapuses are rare, they can often think they must face this ridicule alone. It can often be difficult for a heptapus to develop confidence even though there is nothing wrong with them. Heptapuses may feel alone and consider suicide but the truth is there is a large network of support out there for any heptapus who seeks it.
So the next time you see an octopus (though personally, I think we should just be called ‘puses’, since there is no true ‘normal’ number of tentacles a pus should have) with only seven tentacles, instead of shrieking “Dear God what the fuck is that?!” and running away screaming, consider my story.
Heptapuses are puses just like the rest of them. And our unique build should be celebrated, not ridiculed, for it is part of what makes us special and interesting sea creatures.
P.S. But don’t get me started on hexapuses. Those things are just fucking disgusting and I hope they all die.