Ford Announces First Successful Infiltration Of One-Year-Old’s Subconscious
Hailing it as a breakthrough in the fields of psychology and advertising, Ford announced this morning it has successfully infiltrated the subconscious processes of a one-year-old child.
“Today marks a momentous occasion for companies everywhere trying to corrupt young children,” said spokesperson Courtney Jackson, who described how researchers used toys and games in order to link childrens’ subconscious views of self-worth to whether or not their parents owned a Ford.
“It’s an amazing accomplishment because this child did not fully understand what a ‘car’ is, yet somewhere deep down he comprehended that he cannot achieve happiness in life without the Ford brand in his driveway,” he noted.
Jackson went on to say that while executives were pleased with the results, they hope in the future they can introduce the Ford brand to children before they exit the womb.
The child’s mother did not wish to be identified but she says already has noticed changes in her son.
“He has clearly become more interested in cars. But also I think somewhere, deep down, he knows what’s happened to him, which is very sad,” she told The Pasadenoid.
“But I know it’s for the good of science. And I learned at very young age science is the only thing that can bring us happiness and self-worth.” she added.