Fern Fucking Loving This Sprinkler

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April 6, 2016 - Local

According to reports from around the neighborhood, a local fern is going fucking nuts for the rotating sprinkler that the Conrad family put out back for the kids.

“Awwwwww yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh,” the fern reportedly cooed as it stretched out its branches and let the nutritious, cool water coat its leaves and enter its pores.

“God damn. Yes! That was just what I needed. I wonder if it will come back around ag-ooohhhhhh yeeeessssssss.”

At press time, sources confirmed that the plant’s moaning grew louder until it suddenly released hundreds of spores and then fell asleep for the remainder of the afternoon.