EXCLUSIVE: Acclaimed Local Chef Just Puts A Shitload of Cilantro On Everything
According to an investigation conducted by The Pasadenoid, acclaimed local chef Benny Wallace is a fraud who flavors all of his dishes by dumping a shit-ton of cilantro on them.
Our newspaper sent an undercover reporter to take a job as a chef’s assistant at Benny’s Place on East Colorado. Through several months of careful probing, our agent discovered Chef Wallace does not even use salt or pepper, but instead just piles mounds of cilantro on every dish.
From appetizers to soups, salads, main entrees, and even desserts, the investigation revealed not a single dish was not adorned with several grams of cilantro. Chef Wallace responded to the claims in a press conference this afternoon.
“The rumors being circulated about my cooking are completely untrue. I went to cooking school in France. I use all sorts of spices like…umm…Rosmarry? I think that’s one?” he told reporters.
But despite Wallace’s claims, the lab results from our investigation remain clear. The ‘Truffle Fries’, ‘Spicy Eggplant Parmesan’, and yes, even the ‘Salted Eggrolls’ contain no seasonings other than a heaping shitload of cilantro.