Editorial: Today Is Finally The Day I Give Up On My Hopes And Dreams
December 17, 2015 - Local
by Sarah Riggs, Altadena
Ah! I take a deep breath, and I can feel it. Today is the day. It’s finally here, after all these years.
Today I will finally give up on my dream to be a successful dancer and settle into a dead-end apathetic lifestyle which I will rue until the day I die.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
Things are going to change from here on out. Without the overwhelming pressure to accomplish my dreams, I can finally focus my attention on the things that mean less to me but provide immediate relief/satisfaction.
I can watch hours and hours of Netflix and never once think, “I could be practicing right now.” It’s over now! You don’t have to practice to be a failure. All you do, is, well, fail!
No longer will I have to lie to my family and friends about my accomplishments. I won’t have to tell people I have auditions lined up, or that I’m enrolled in a new master class. Instead, I can shout from the rooftops I’VE GOT NOTHING GOING FOR ME AND I’M OK WITH IT.
That’s right. Because today, Sarah Riggs, professional dancer, died prematurely.
But from the ashes, rises Sarah Riggs, assistant accountant, Scrabble player, chronic mastrubator, and alcoholic.
Speaking of…what better way to kick off this new life than with a nice fifth of vodka? No I’m not sharing. Get your own! This is mine. Only mine! Get the fuck away from me! *Quiet sobbing* Just leave me alone with my drink!