Editorial: Technological Progress Has Improved My Life In A Number Of Ways
By Elisa Johnson, Pasadena
We live in an amazing age! Advances in science and technology are having astounding effects on the way people like us go about our daily lives!
For me, technological progress has improved my life in a number of ways. For one, I don’t have to work as hard. Well, actually, I work very long hours for hardly enough pay to get by. And I am expected to be reachable around the clock. So… I guess I am actually working harder. Never mind scratch that one.
But even if progress has not made my work life easier, it has removed so many stresses in my personal life! For example, umm….well shit honestly now that I think about it most technology is annoying as hell. I mean, the god damn phone is buzzing all the time to notify me of the most trivial shit I could imagine. And it seems like more than half the time the TV and computer don’t work the way they’re supposed to. Also I feel like everything is giving me cancer.
You know what? I’m starting to think this whole technology thing is being done wrong. Where are the robot masseuses? Why do I still have to tie my shoes? Why do I rub my ass with a piece of paper if I want it clean? Aren’t we living in the future here?
Maybe this world would be a better place if we got rid of most of this digital junk. You know what sounds nicer than technology? Trees. And lakes. And the sun. Things that I can peacefully enjoy without having to drive myself crazy trying to get to work right. Trees seem to just work…by themselves…am I right?
So in conclusion, technological progress has improved my life in a number of ways.
That number is zero. Thank you for your time.