Editorial: Some Thoughts On Our Nation


September 22, 2017 - Local

by Ethan Schillinger, Pasadena

Some people think America is on its last legs because it elected an egomaniac who is also racist and dumb.

They think this is like when grandpas start babbling before we send them to the farm.

That might be true but it might not be.

America is 241 years old, but we don’t know how long democracies normally live since America was the first one in modern times.

There are lots of other possibilities.

America could be 18 and a heroin addict. Daddy will send it off to Utah. It will get better and live 60 more nation-years. Decades later, people will wonder why America doesn’t drink at parties but, otherwise, it will live a normal nation-life, except for a weird relationship with the people who remember, like daddy.

Another possibility is that America is 45 and going through a rough divorce. In this case, America won’t quite ever be back to when it was young, hot, horny, and up for anything in the 20th century. But, still, America will put its life back together and manage to be a decent, slightly sad country, like England.

Finally, America could also be in its 60s, bankrupt with estranged kids, aiming a shotgun to its head in the back of a shed but not yet ready to die, like the economically anxious people who made Trump president.

This would be a bad situation. America would just get more and more racist until it dies angry.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t be pessimistic about our country.

It’s absolutely possible that America is simply young and addicted to heroin.

God, I hope so.


› tags: drugs / patriotism /