Editorial: Shut The Fuck Up
by Darren Osbourne, Pasadena
Hello everyone. I’m glad you’re reading this. There is something I’ve really wanted to tell you that’s been building up inside of me for quite some time now:
Shut the fuck up, will you?
Just shut your goddamn mouth. Stop talking. Every day you go around town babbling about this, and that, and quite frankly we would all appreciate it if you could just shut your fucking piehole for once you idiot.
If I’m being completely honest, and I am, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Every single sentence that comes out of your mouth is just a string of wordshit that has nothing to do with truth or insight. Even your exclamations, like a gasp of surprise for example, are stupid and annoying as all hell.
So will you just shut up? Shut your goddamn mouth?
Could you just close your fucking face for a while?
We need a break. I know it doesn’t seem fair, but it also doesn’t seem fair that everyone in town has to listen to your asinine opinions all day since you never seem to take some time to not be prattling on.
Have you ever heard the aphorism that silence is a virtue? Probably not since you were likely spewing out a steaming pile of garbage-talk whenever it was uttered near you. But basically it means you should shut your fucking mouth.
Anyway, thank you for your time. I know it’s not always to do what is right when it is the more challenging path to take.
But if you could try, please do us all a favor and shut the fuck up. You moron.