Editorial: Jesus Would Have Baked That Gay Couple A Lemon Meringue Because He Loved Lemon-Flavored Desserts

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June 8, 2018 - Universe

by Lisa Woodward, Altadena

I mean the headline says it all, right?

This silly debate about whether Jesus would have baked a cake is nonsense. Jesus never once baked a cake for anyone. He doesn’t even like cake. So why would he bake one for this couple?

Jesus’ affinity for lemon-flavored desserts (as well as other lemon-flavored foods) is a well-known fact. It is blatantly obvious to me that he would have whipped up some kid of meringue or pie. Perhaps a lemon scone, though he’s not really into flaky desserts either. No, he would definitely prefer something a little more gelatinous. That’s why I feel lemon meringue makes the most sense by far.

So let’s stop these silly quarrels. He would have baked the couple a delicious lemon merengue.

God bless America and Jesus. Behold the great kitchen of Christ. Amen.

 

 

› tags: baking / jesus / lemon desserts /