Editorial: In My Eyes, All Humans Are Equally Disgusting
May 3, 2018 - Local
by Janice McDonald, Pasadena
There’s been a lot of talk about equality lately. I guess it’s because the President is a psycho racist. So I thought as a Beautiful Person I should contribute to the discussion.
I find all of you people hideous. Absolutely repulsive. You are all disgusting slovenly creatures who quite frankly don’t deserve to live on the same planet as me.
I see all people this way. No matter black or white, Hindu or Muslim, ugly or uglier, I want to vomit when I look at any of you revolting little monkeys.
I hate making eye contact with you. It’s a nightmare. It reminds me that you are capable of complex thought. I prefer to think of you as roaches who have no idea how grotesque you are. But you people are capable of looking in a mirror and thinking, “That is me.” Ugh. I shudder just thinking about it.
So you can all stop arguing about religion, politics, or who is the creepiest and ugliest out of the lot of you (I assume that’s what all these wars are about?). You’re all terrible. Tied for first on the vomit-o-meter.
Please don’t look at or touch me. Any of you. It’s kind enough for me to grace this gross little roach-hole known as Earth with my presence. I don’t want to deal with you disgusting creatures. Please stop fighting and just go away.
Why don’t you go take a shower you grubbly little dogs.