Editorial: If Donald Trump Becomes President, I’m Moving To Canada. And Becoming A Polygamist.

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April 9, 2016 - Universe

by Guy Chilano, Pasadena

Wow. Seriously, America? We’re going to elect Donald Trump president? This is just wrong, people.

Trump is a childish xenophobic psychotic who will push this country into warfare. He will destroy our economy and incur the wrath of enemies across the globe.

That’s why when this horrible man becomes president, I’m out. Seeya! I’m leaving this backwards country and setting up camp in a new land of opportunity and beauty.

That’s right, if Donald Trump wins the election, I’m moving to Canada!

(And I’ll probably become a polygamist.)

Canada has great healthcare! The people over there must be so friendly because they don’t get sick. They have the same drugs we have for a quarter the price!

Their new prime minister has also put forward a progressive agenda to help guide the country to a become a liberal paradise.

The cities rank among the most livable in the world, and the countryside contains many majestic beauties of nature!

So that’s why when that idiot Trump gets in the White House, I’m gone. I’m outta here. I’m not going down with this ship.

I’ll be off to our friendly neighbor in the North. And I’ll probably try to join some community that accepts polygamy and take part in that whole thing.