Editorial: At This Point We Should Just Vote For My Son For Mayor! Just Kidding Even He Would Be Worse Than These Candidates!

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March 19, 2015 - Local

by Lloyd Baker, South Pasadena 

Wow! This year’s crop of mayoral candidates sure sucks! These guys are a bunch of morons! And they’re ugly too! There’s almost as stupid and unattractive as my son!

Not quite, but pretty close! Trust me, that’s really saying something!

I think we as citizens deserve better than the usual assortment of spray-tanned middle-aged boobs we always get. We live in a great town, so we need someone who is not a huge dumbass! Someone unlike my son, for example!

Sometimes when I watch the campaigns, I think to myself, “Wow! These guys might be the dopiest crop yet! My own grossly unintelligent child could fulfill the duties of mayor better these uninformed children who call themselves candidates!

That’s an exaggeration, mind you, but you get the idea!

I urge all citizens to come together and find a stronger candidate who can step up to the challenge and send these nitwits on the first train back to stupidville.

Who knows, maybe I’ll find a candidate myself! I can think of one person who might be able to challenge this absurd selection of intoxicated ape-men:

My stupid, lazy, useless, disgusting son!

…But not really!