Coworker Won’t Shut Up About Near-Death Experience

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March 23, 2016 - Local

According to his coworkers at Greeley Financial Corp., sales representative Rodney Samuels will not stop talking about a recent experience in which he was declared dead for 6 minutes and saw the afterlife before returning to consciousness.

“Ah fuck, Rodney’s coming back from the break room,” said manager Lisa Williams.

“He said before he left he couldn’t wait to tell me more about meeting his dad in heaven…I got a find an excuse to get out of here,” she said.

Samuels says he thought people would be inspired by his miraculous tale of survival.

“It’s funny, I learned so much more about ‘being alive’ while I was dead. I might write a book about it!”

But Williams says she’s running out of patience.

“I’ll bet he told you he learned so much more about ‘being alive’ while he was dead,” she said.

“A book? Ah shit. I don’t want to say I wish he had just died instead…but…” she said.