Nation Has Mixed Feelings After Google Unveils New Wi-fi Obelisk

June 9, 2014

Americans across the country registered deep feelings of ambivalence this week after the unveiling of Google’s new “Wi-FiObelisk,” a pointed, 120-foot pillar that offers free Wi-Fi to all within a 5-mile radius. “Google is proud to provide free Wi-Fi at 4-G speeds to the people of Washington, D.C.,” said CEO Larry Page. “This mighty Obelisk…

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Study Finds That Defunct Carbon Monoxide Detectors Only Rarely Result In Death Of A Beautiful Family

June 2, 2014

An intensive three-year study from the University of Arizona found that defunct carbon monoxide detectors result in the death of a beautiful family only in extremely atypical circumstances. The study was conducted by scientists who snuck into three thousand homes and disabled carbon monoxide detectors across all demographics. “Based on media reports, we expected disabled…

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