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Why I Decided To Use Social Media This Year To Change How We Think About Mental Illness

April 6, 2015

by Loretta Johnstone, Pasadena  This year, I made a pledge to use social media for society’s good. Instead of sharing cat videos and silly jokes, I decided to tweet and write Facebook posts about mental illness. This is an issue close to my heart; my great-grandfather, grandfather and father all suffer from De Gaull Disease,…

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This 109-Year-Old Man Has The Most AMAZING Advice For A Long, Happy Life

March 25, 2015

Meet Joe Kreiger. Born in 1906, you know, the 1906 when all this crazy stuff happened. Yeah, we weren’t alive back then either. But this dude was. And he has the most INCREDIBLE advice for anyone who wants to achieve a long, healthy life: “Fuckin jews and blacks. These people make me sick. Damn immigrants…

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NFL On CBS Announces 2015 Graphics Update With Crime Surveillance Screengrabs

March 20, 2015

CBS has announced today a new graphics addition for 2015 NFL games. Above each player’s name and photo in the opening sequence will be a photo of surveillance video from the assault/rape/murder case the player is currently involved in. CBS will launch the new graphics during the NFL preseason in August. A preview of the…

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Wow! This Strom Thurmond Speech Isn’t So Bad If You Change The Subject To Unvaccinated Children!

January 25, 2015

Strom Thurmond was a South Carolina Senator most famous doing everything he could to prolong segregation. He was one of the nastiest men to ever serve in congress. But here’s the crazy thing: some of his speeches are actually spot on. The only trick is you exchange “negroes” with “unvaccinated children.” Like check this out….

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Taylor Swift Issues Report on CIA Torchyuh

January 2, 2015

In a shocking 15-track report on CIA torchyuh programs under the Bush administration, pop artist Taylor Swift detailed behavior performed by CIA agents that caused excruciating emotional pain to detainees. According to the TSwift Report, the CIA repeatedly flirted with detainees’ best friends in front of them and waited hours to answer a text message…

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ISIS Soldier Not Bright Enough To Follow Sharia Law

December 18, 2014

Citing a number of accidental grievances against the Islamic State, commanding officers in Raqqa told reporters that ISIS soldier Abdullah Hashemi is not intelligent enough to practice strict Sharia law, a specific code of Islam that the group expects all humans, plants, and robots to follow. “If Hashemi is not forgetting to bless his meal,…

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Opinion: Left-Wing Regulation Caused The Chanukah Oil Shortage

December 16, 2014

By John Bassinger Greenleaf, Altadena  Kids,  I’m going to tell you the story of Chanukah. This isn’t the Chanukah story you hear at your Reconstructionist Synagogue. And it’s certainly not the same one you’ll get from the left-wing media or that communist who calls himself my sister’s husband. This is the story of what the Maccabees did…

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Robert Caro Admits To Fabricating Lyndon Johnson Biographies

December 9, 2014

Robert Caro, the now-embattled author of an epic 4-part biography hailed as the seminal account of Lyndon Johnson’s life, admitted to outright fabrications in a blog post published today that shocked fans of his works. The revelation followed a Vanity Fair report revealing deep discrepancies in the book, which spurred a public outcry regarding the…

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Wow! Chris Rock just ended racism!

December 5, 2014

Chris Rock is normally known for his funny jokes about race and relationships. But this week, the comedian went a little farther: he ended racism once and for all! In his interview with Frank Rich, he started off by making a few powerful and insightful comments about race relations in America. Then, he took out…

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Top 10 Excuses To Get Out Of Work Forever

November 25, 2014

We all have those days where it feels impossible to get out of bed and survive another tough day at the office. For when you desperately need it, our staff compiled our top ten lies to get out of work for the rest of your life. 10. “Oh my God I just murdered my brother!” 9….

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