Universe | The Pasadenoid

Letter From The Editor: Who Am I?

August 3, 2018

by The Editor Who am I? It’s a question I never posed before as an amorphus editor for a humor magazine. But in light of recent, um, societal implosion with the accompanying self-reflection that often comes with it, I find myself confronted with new questions: What is the relationship between I, the satirist, and reality? Have…

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Editorial: Jesus Would Have Baked That Gay Couple A Lemon Meringue Because He Loved Lemon-Flavored Desserts

June 8, 2018

by Lisa Woodward, Altadena I mean the headline says it all, right? This silly debate about whether Jesus would have baked a cake is nonsense. Jesus never once baked a cake for anyone. He doesn’t even like cake. So why would he bake one for this couple? Jesus’ affinity for lemon-flavored desserts (as well as…

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Editorial: To Win In November, Democrats Must Concentrate On Persuasion

June 1, 2018

By Staunch Liberal Thurbert Huxton Jones IV (Born 1822) The Republican is a brutish rural creature. Yes, it is true. He is unlearned in the science of chivalry and birth control. He takes weaponry as a false idol. He abhors the spirit of generosity toward strangers. He disdains knowledge, rejects the advancement of Man, and…

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White House Pop Culture Summit

May 16, 2018

DT: Welcome. I’m so glad you were all able to make it. You are some of the biggest influencers in popular culture. And together we can help MAGA go mainstream. KW: Excuse me, did you just say “mainstream”? DT: Yes. KW: You realize when you say that. YOU ARE LIMITING MY FREE THOUGHT. DT: Umm…sorry?…

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Eye On Your Money: How The GOP Tax Plan Will Affect You If You’re Not In Plastics Or Pharmaceuticals

November 19, 2017

You’re screwed.

Letter to the Editor: Why Does the Number of Days in Each Month Keep Changing?

November 12, 2017

by Clyde Johnson, Monrovia That’s it, I give up already! Just this morning my wife asked me if we could visit her parents in La Jolla at the end of next month. “What day is that?” I asked. She started to say something unhelpful, I’m sure, but I had had it up to here with…

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Editorial: Having Read A Few Sentences In The Wikipedia Article On Sexual Assault I Can No Longer Support Roy Moore

November 10, 2017

by Mike Lee, U.S. Senator from Utah My fellow Americans, I am horrified. Following the allegations against senate candidate Roy Moore, I decided it was time for me to do a little reading on sexual assault. I browsed the first few lines of the Wikipedia article on sexual assault and I did not like what…

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Retrospective: Beards Of Bees Through The Ages

October 6, 2017

Editorial: What We’re Really Missing Is Wayne Gretzky’s Take On These Cultural And Political Issues

October 1, 2017

by Jim Horace, Pasadena resident and longtime Rangers fan There are a lot of people speaking out on issues related to race, police brutality, and other important political issues. I think that’s great. But there’s one voice that so far has provided little to no commentary on these issues. One voice that is desperately needed to…

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So Trump Has Declared Himself Emperor. Does Anyone Really Care?

September 10, 2017

By Hugh Lavishly, Monrovia Here we go again. Trump is in the news for saying something “controversial.” This time he says he would prefer to be an emperor than a president. Of course the mainstream media has turned this into the next big controversy, claiming it spells gloom and doom for the concept of democracy…

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