Crime

July 22, 2014

Police say the toddler detained in the recent bee-fighting sting will be tried as an adult.

Public Service Announcement

July 17, 2014

Tonight’s outdoor production of Singin’ In The Rain will be canceled due to thunderstorms.

Marriage

July 15, 2014

Ron Franks and Lisa Weddlestein are excited to announce they will be getting married after a preposterous 37 years of dating.

In Memoriam

July 8, 2014

(Sponsored content): DVD players are a dead technology! Buy a blueray player today at Steve’s Electronics on Colorado!

Crime

July 3, 2014

Brendan grounded 3 weeks for forgetting to put his toys away again.

In Memoriam

July 1, 2014

Engelman Construction is saddened to announce the passing of employee Phil Hutchins, who fell into an industrial-sized concrete-mixing bucket and kicked it. He later drowned.

In Memoriam

June 27, 2014

Do you want to know what actually happened to your goldfish Timmy? It’s dead. Things die. They die and they don’t come back. Now for the love of God shut up and let me watch the game

In Memoriam

June 26, 2014

Local dog Lucky ordered and received the menu item “death by chocolate” Tuesday.

Public Service Announcement

June 24, 2014

Public schools to be closed tomorrow for some Jewish thing.

In Memoriam

June 17, 2014

Pasadena resident Sam Wofford died Thursday, just long enough ago for it to be acceptable to reach out to Ms. Wofford for “lunch.”