Barista Turned Fast Food Drive-Thru Attendant We are a competitor to Starbucks, seeking baristas who have been humiliated during a transition to smaller stores and forced to work at the drive-thru window. The best applicants have had their soul dragged out by management onto the kitchen floor and stomped on vigorously. Regular drive-thru attendants need…
Officer Lee Jones of the Pasadena Police Department will be investigated for Tuesday’s nonfatal shooting of resident Silvio Lopez, even though Jones claims Mexicans are his “third-favorite race”.
The annual Pasadena-Area Shame Parade will be held this weekend at an undisclosed time and location. Event organizers say all residents who feel unworthy in the eyes of others are invited to walk in humility together at the event.
According to friends and relatives, locals Cedric and Lisa Patterson will hold a ceremony to renew their vows, and are somehow under the impression other people will help pay for it.
David O’Connell was arrested this afternoon in Pasadena for stealing young women’s hearts. The women are biologists at Pasadena City College and were using the hearts for a study on diabetes and cardiovascular health.
Due to a calendar error from several years ago, the Pasadena Pumpkin and Apple-Picking Festival will be held this weekend. The Halloween parade will be on Tuesday.
Ron Hastings has announced his marriage to longtime girlfriend Roberta Lopez after she hit him with the old “People-who-want-to-grow-some-balls-and-marry-the-love-of-their-life-instead-of-being-an-indecisive-jackass-say-what?”
Pasadena Police are warning residents that a 57-year old man wearing only a diaper is telling people he is Baby New Year. He is not Baby New Year. Police do not recommend blowing on his tummy like he is asking people to do. 58-year-old resident Robert Samm is the real Baby New Year. Police say residents…
