Budweiser Develops New Ad Campaign to Prevent People from Murdering Each Other After Consuming Budweiser

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September 22, 2014 - Universe

Budweiser has announced a new advertising campaign aimed to prevent people from committing culpable homicide as a result of consuming their product.

“We want people to enjoy our product, but also be mindful of the fact that the more they enjoy the more likely it is that they murder themselves or someone else,” said a Budweiser spokesperson.

The new campaign, titled “Friends Are Waiting”, will reportedly feature individuals playing with their pets, to drive home the message that there are consequences to drinking Budweiser which may include dying.

“We think people deserve the right to choose what they want to drink. And if they choose to drink a beverage that is guaranteed by science to make them act in a way that is likely to kill them, well we feel it might be polite to warn people about that,” the spokesperson said.

Nonetheless, the company believes the new campaign will not affect sales.

“People who drink our product don’t really think about what it means for a company to have to provide PSAs because their product is so bad for them and society,” said the spokesperson.

“It’s a little marketing trick. If you sell poison to people, but then tell them to be careful, they think you care about them. And you can avoid lawsuits. It’s a win-win for Budweiser and America!”

The ads are set to hit drunk people’s televisions beginning next week.