AT&T and DirecTV Combine Forces To Form Worst Customer Service Experience In History
October 18, 2015 - Universe
Mega-corporations AT&T and DirecTV announced this weekend they will be teaming up to exercise the worst customer service in the history of mankind.
“For many years, AT&T and DirecTV have provided customers with historically awful assistance reminiscent of a pile of horse shit,” said Dane Lang with AT&T.
“But now, these two hated institutions will combine forces, each contributing their individual flaws to the greatest atrocity in the history of helping people with their product issues,” he told reporters.
The move will be finalized in the coming weeks. Company representatives say the new customer service team will reportedly be led by AT&T Senior Vice President Wilsha Darling.
“In the past, I just had all customer service lines connected to a phone I dropped into the bottom of the Pacific Ocean in ’97,” she said.
“But the DirecTV folks have introduced me to all sorts of ideas. For example, instead of ignoring a call, you can answer it and give the person bad and expensive advice! Or go to their house and screw with their electrical wiring!” she added.
“So I think together we’re capable of doing some pretty incredible things.”