7 Things Always Late People Know

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September 30, 2015 - Universe

Always late people are, let’s say, a special breed. But God love them, because they teach the rest of us how to not care so damn much. Always late people just have an outlook that other people don’t have. Here are the 7 things that on-timers will never know, but the chronically late just get.

  1. Always late people know that I don’t have anything worthwhile to do after this.
  2. I can just skip my plans because I’m not important.
  3. There’s no such thing as a reputation. Sticking your neck out to get an always late person a job interview doesn’t cost any social capital, so just show up 20 minutes after the scheduled appointment with wet hair like you showered.
  4. Text messages are just occasions to lie, lie, lie. That’s what they are, Susan. Lies! If you haven’t left the house, you won’t be there in 5 minutes so stop lying!
  5. There are no rules. Life is just a constant series of manipulations.
  6. You think this is just a casual flaw, but it’s not, Susan. It’s really not. Your tardiness is causing serious strain in our relationship. I love you. But we lead busy lives. If we can’t rely on each other to be at specific places at specific times, we’re denying each other the chance to pursue a life and career outside of our relationship.
  7. Jesus. Are you even paying attention?

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